Supportive Spouses

There was an article in the latest edition of the RWA's Romance Writers Report called "The Arms That Hold You Up" by Laurie Wood. Basically, she's talking about people who support your efforts to write and be a writer.

I didn't even think about being a writer until I was home with two small children, but when I saw a brochure about a writing course and thought about taking it, my husband made no objections. It wasn't cheap, and we had to make arrangements with the neighbors for the kiddies, but otherwise, it was "You go, girl."

He bought our first computer for me to write. Now, granted, he works for a computer company, but this was in the olden days, pre-internet, so there really wasn't a lot of call for a computer in our house beyond my writing efforts.

I went to my first RWA conference the year I started writing. I was making no money and it wasn't cheap, but he was fine with that. After all, he'd go away with his buddies from time to time. That was the first time I'd been away from the hubby and kiddies since our youngest was born. I slept like a log. Never, at any subsequent conference, have I slept like that.

He'd take the kiddies to the park so I could write. He never complained if the house wasn't spotless (still doesn't and it still isn't).

I never, ever felt I had to "get his permission" for any writing-related expense, and I'm sure if he'd ever objected to my writing, his reasons would have been only financial. He never begrudged me the time.

For all these reasons, and more, I consider my husband very supportive of my writing.

So there was one thing in that article that utterly flummoxed me, because I don't think a negative answer to that question would mean your husband isn't supportive of your writing. It was, "Does your spouse have no interest in reading your manuscript?"

My husband has never, ever read one of books in manuscript form. Never.

I couldn't even remember if he'd actually read any of my finished books. I had to go and ask him. I thought maybe my first, fifteen years ago. But otherwise? I had no idea.

He said, "Sure. Two or three, one just last year."

Oh, yes. I think it was HERS TO DESIRE. I seem to recall he liked it.

But here's the thing: those would be the only romance novels he's ever read. He's not a romance reader, and he's not my target audience, so...why would I want him to read my work? In fact, I don't, particularly. It'd be like asking me to take a look at his work. Ack! No thanks! The numbers...oh, the numbers! My eyes, they cross!

So if a husband doesn't particularly care to read his romance-writing wife's manuscript? I don't think that makes him unsupportive. I think that just makes him a guy who doesn't want to read romance, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Of course, if he also calls romance a load of you-know-what and whines like an overgrown baby because she's taking an hour or two to write instead of ironing his underwear, that's another kettle of carp.