And one to stay away....

I posted about blogs yesterday. Today, I was reminded of one reason not to read blogs -- or at least, maybe not first thing in the morning. It can make your blood pressure go up and ruin the start to a perfectly lovely day.

For instance, this morning, I went to Smart Bitches, Trashy Books as is my wont, only to find a post there about some guy who produces books. You can't call it writing because he basically simply collects data, puts it together and prints it up and voila, a book. Sort of like those Chicken Soup books, I'm thinking. Or an encyclopedia. Okay if you want facts.

But now, Philip M. Parker is apparently preparing to take his method to the romance world. To quote from the original New York Times article, "And he is laying the groundwork for romance novels generated by new algorithms. 'I’ve already set it up,' he said. 'There are only so many body parts.'"

Because yes, body parts are all I think about when I start writing a romance.

Or all I should have been thinking about, apparently. Clearly, I've been wasting valuable time thinking of characterization, motivation, emotional development, plot, conflict, dramatic tension, etc. etc. All I really needed to be doing was thinking up new ways to say nipple, or various other portions of the anatomy.

Riiiight.... And thus, my blood pressure begins to rise. And my mandible to close tightly.

He also says, "'My goal isn’t to have the computer write sentences, but to do the repetitive tasks that are too costly to do otherwise.'" That has me really baffled. Aren't romances composed of many, many sentences?

Fortunately I, having endured this sort of ignorant notion of romance novels for twenty years, have learned to calm down and carry on relatively quickly. But first, my areolas and I need another tea. And some cookies.