Saturday, August 05, 2006

Miami huh?

We're still at the cottage, where we ventured into the Big Town to catch a movie and bask in some air conditioning. The only film remotely appealing was Miami Vice. I was concerned because it has been called "stylish," which to me is code for "lots of visual fanciness, not so much character or story."

(If you haven't seen this movie yet and plan to, and don't want to be "spoiled", I suggest you skip the rest of this post.)

Sadly, I was right. It seemed to me that lots of effort went into the "look" of the film, but next to nothing in terms of story and character.

Clue # 1: I couldn't even understand one of the main actors most of the time.

Clue # 2: On a similar note, ask me to explain the plot, and all I can tell you is that drug smuggling was involved. At the start, though, it seemed to be about uncovering a "mole" in one of the government agencies charged with stopping drug smuggling. But that part of the plot literally just disappeared part way through.

Clue # 3: Apparently, we are supposed to sympathize with the ill-fated love affair between one of the main cops and a woman heavily involved in the drug business. The only reason they fall in love, from what I could tell, is that their eyes met during a drug deal, they had a swell first date and first night, and...there ya go. Now, I don't know about you all, but having a cop fall in love with a drug dealer does not mean I am automatically going to forget the sort of terrible effect her "business" has had on people, their lives and families when she expresses no regret or remorse. She's upset she has to leave the cop behind, but apparently nothing else. Nor are we really given any reason to feel she was "pressured" or coerced into her life of crime. So I couldn't care less if she's bereft at the end. Sorry, sister, cry me a river if you have to lose your lover. You've made many another's life a living hell. Oh, and cop-boy? ARE YOU CRAZY? You, of all people, should know what she's responsible for, so don't expect me to feel bad for your ill-fated love life. (And please, for the love of all that's attractive, wash your hair! When did dirty, stringy hair get to be considered a plus? Even after a shower, the guy looked scuzzy. I had troubles with Viggo's hair in LORD OF THE RINGS, but hey, there aren't many showers in Middle Earth. Miami, though, seems to have lovely plumbing so...UGH.)

Clue # 4: Okay, it's just a movie, but it seems Miami has no customs or coast guard or anything. Just drive your boat on in! Nobody'll stop you or question you!

Biggest Clue of All: Jamie Foxx was utterly wasted. That guy can act, but this movie didn't really give him much of a chance. I'm not sure Colin Farrell can act (I'm trying hard to forget Alexander!), but in this film, his expression seemed to be either blank or furrowed brow. Not a whole lot in between.

So definitely a thumbs down from me. However, there was a bonus: a trailer for Clive Owen's next movie, CHILDREN OF MEN. The story doesn't look like my particular cup of tea (bleak future tale), but Clive Owen is enough to get me to the theater.

Especially if there's air conditioning.

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